probing by asking questions indicates that the receiver wants to get further information, guide the discussion along certain lines, or bring the sender to a certain realization or conclusion the receiver has in mind. in asking a question, the receiver implies that the sender ought or might profitably develop or discuss a point further. questioning is, however,an important skill in being helpful to people who wish to discuss their problems and concerns with you. in using questions skillfully, it is necessary to understand the difference between an open and closed question and the pitfalls of the "why" question. an open question encourages other people to answer at greater length and in more detail. the closed question usually asks for only a simple yes or no answer. an example of an open question is, "why" question. an open question encourages other people to answer at greater length and in more detail. the closed question usually asks for only a simple yes or no answer. an example of an open question is, "how do you feel about your job?" because open question encourage other people to share more personal feelings and thoughts, they are ussualy more helpful


when you intend to deepen a relationship or help other people understand and solve their problems, it is usually recommended that you avoid why questions. to encourage people to give a rational explanation for their behavior may not be productive because most people do not fully know the reasons they do the things they do. being asked why can make people defensive and encourages them to justify rather than explore their actions. why questions are also often used to indicate disapproval or to give advice . for example, the question, "why did you yell at the teacher?" may imply the statement, "i don't think you should have yelled at the teacher." because criticism and advice tend to be threatening, people may feel less free to examine the reasons that led them to a particular action or decision. instead of asking people to explain or justify their actions through answering why, it may be more helpful to ask what, where, when, how, and who question. these questions help other people to be more spesific, precise, and revealing. for a more complete discussion of question asking, see johnson

asking questions skillfully is a essential part of giving help to other people who are discussing their problems and concerns with you . but questions, while they communicate that you are interested in helping, do not necessarily communicate that you understand. it may sometimes be more effective to change questions into reflective statements that encourage the person to keep talking. an example is changing the question, "do you like swimming?" to a reflective statement, "you really like swimming. "reflective statement, which are discussed in the next section, focus on clarifying and summarizing without interrupting the flow of communication because they don't call for an answer


paraphrasing and understanding (u)

an understanding and reflecting response indicates that your intent is to understand the sender's thoughts and feelings. in effect, this response asks the sender whether you, the receiver, have understood what the sender is saying and how she is feeling. this is the same as the paraphrasing response discussed in chapter 4. there are three situations in which you will want to use the understanding response. the first is when you are not sure you have understood the sender's thoughts and feelings. paraphrasing can begin a clarifying and summarizing process that increases the accuracy of understanding. the second is when you wish to ensure that the sender hears what he has just said. this reflection of thoughts and feelings often gives the sender a clearer understanding of himself and of the implications of his present feelings and thinking. finally, paraphrasing reassures the sender that you are trying to understand his thoughts and feelings.


in order to be truly understanding, you may have to go beyond the words of the sender to the feelings and underlying meanings that accompany the words. it is the true meaning of the statment and the sender's feelings that you paraphrase

after you have finished the procedure for scoring both answer sheets, record the frequency with which each member of the group used each type of responses. this can be done by taking one member of the group, asking her how many times she used the evaluating response, placing a tally mark in the appropriate box, then asking the member how many times she used the interpreting response, and so forth. when the recording is completed, you will have a tally mark for each group member under each type of response. then, as a group, discuss the results summarized in the above table. the following questions may helpful